Often when the person you love says the relationship is over, you’re overwhelmed by emotions unsure how you are going to survive. Your life revolved completely around this person and now they are gone. The only thing on your mind is fixing your mistakes and letting them know that you are not giving up on them, but the more you try, the more they distance themselves from you making things even worse.
At this point you are probably confused since in your mind you have been doing everything right to let them know you still care. However the problem might not be them, but the fact that you are doing the wrong things. When dealing with a breakup, there are things you must avoid doing if you want to keep your chances of getting your ex back. The following are common mistakes you must avoid before the odds of your relationship surviving the breakup stack up against you.
1. Constantly Calling Them
Telling your ex you’re sorry repeatedly and begging them for forgiveness is the worst mistake you can make. Instead of showing them that you are coping with the breakup, you are appearing immature and needy. If they feel harassed the annoyance can quickly turn into anger. Give them time to miss you by not calling, texting, or messaging them (including social networks) for at least a few weeks following the breakup.
The only thing stalking will get you is a restraining order and a permanent spot on your ex’s no contact list. Even if you hate the idea of them being with someone else, respect your ex and give them this time to themselves. Remember all those stalkers you’ve seen on movies, TV shows and news – it never ends well for them.
3. Getting Revenge
Do not seek revenge against your ex by destroying their property or trying to sabotage their personal lives. This will only escalate the current problems and make it impossible for you to get back with your ex. Think about it, do you really believe your ex will have a change of heart if you take revenge on them? Not likely.
4. Destroying Mementos
Many people believe that destroying or throwing away mementos from your relationship will help you deal with your breakup. These are an important part of your life and do not need to be destroyed. Store them away and don’t look at them until you are back with your ex. The last thing you want is to win your ex back only to have to explain later the whereabouts of that picture you took together at Niagara Falls last year.
5. Harassing Friends
Do not harass their personal friends and family into becoming your messengers to try and convince your ex to get back together with you. Instead of helping, it will likely just convince them that your ex made the right decision and turn the odds against you.
6. Buying Gifts
You can not buy your ex’s affection or approval. At this point what they need is some space and time apart to get their head straight (something you should be doing as well), and sending them gifts during this time will only remind them of the last few unpleasant moments they spent with you before breaking up.
7. Rebound Relationships
Rebound relationships are a common occurrence following a breakup, but if you get into a relationship in order to forget about your ex be careful not to turn it into a serious one. Getting into another long-term relationship will kill any chance you have of getting back with your ex, and if you are not completely over your ex you might end up hurting the other person’s feelings. Instead focus on non-committal dates only.