As you sit at the table in your new apartment, you can’t help the look of shock in your face as you contemplate all the legal papers spread everywhere representing the destruction of your family life. Until this point, your wife and family were your entire life, but now, things are in shambles as you look at the divorce papers that your wife had filed. If you refuse to let your marriage die, then you have to do something about it. The following tips will help you reignite the love spark with your wife and help you get back together.
1. Change Your View of the Situation
If you want things to change for the better, you will have to admit where you went wrong in the relationship. If you are willing to be open about your mistakes and make changes, then your ex wife will be more inclined to follow suit. Work on your problems together and compromise where needed.
2. Do Not Play the Blame Game
It is very easy to try to blame your wife for the divorce. After all, it was her who filed for divorce right? No, forget about blaming her. Not one person is at fault for what happened. “It takes two to tango” and marriage is no different. Be careful not to blame yourself either. In order to make marriage work you need to work together as a team.
3. Find Common Ground
Start looking at where you are in your life. What is it that drives you and makes you happy? What at your goals, aspirations, and hobbies? Look for the same in your ex wife and try to find that common ground. You obviously had things in common and shared similar goals in life before things took a turn for the worse. If the love is still there, you will find it.
4. Channel the Energy
Once you are aware of that common ground, use it to your advantage. Find a way to share an experience with your ex wife that brings you both joy. Make it look like a spontaneous idea or suggest it in a way that makes it seem like her idea. Generate some excitement about it, but don’t go overboard. Channel that good energy and allow it to bond the two of you again.
5. Express How You Feel
When you are sharing experiences both of you love, let her know how special she is and how much you truly appreciate and miss her. Make it clear how much you miss what you had before and let her know how you feel. It shouldn’t be too hard for your ex wife to reciprocate those feelings when you are having a good time and bonding together. Don’t be afraid to tell her you want her back and you may be surprise to find out she wants the same thing.
You should be aware that it might impossible to get back to the same level you were during the height of your relationship. You are starting all over again and you should not aim for what it used to be. Instead aim higher and belief that the best is still to come. You can make the relationship with your wife stronger than ever if you are willing to do the work and make it happen.