Cheating will bring any relationship to its weakest point, but you can recuperate from it and get back together again. Though infidelity is a major reason for couples to end relationships, it is not necessarily the cause, but usually a symptom of something larger. In order to restore your relationship after someone cheated it is important for you to focus on this larger problem and not on the cheating.
Affairs are almost always a sign that the person who cheated was searching for something they were not getting, or felt was missing from the relationship. This is not to say that the other person is to blame, only that there is a significant problem in the foundation of the relationship that needs addressing.
The following tips will help you make the process of getting back together after cheating as effective and simple as possible.
1. Assume Control
You will need to assume control for repairing your relationship if you want to get back after someone cheated. Even if the affair was not your fault, you can’t simply sit down and wait for things to get better. You can’t force your partner into taking charge, so repairing things will have to be your responsibility.
A helpful side effect of this is that you will start to feel better about the situation. If you got cheated on you might feel victimized, but assuming control to fix things will give you back the pride and mental strength that the affair took away.
2. Forget about blaming
It’s only human to place blame in the person who cheated and dump all your emotional pain on them. And although it might help you release the pain in the short term, it will not help rebuild the relationship. Forget about placing blame and move on past the pain.
It won’t be easy, but do not expect or go fishing for an apology. If there is still hope of saving your relationship, you will get one when the time comes. Don’t waste time trying to get it out of your partner, and instead focus on fixing your problems.
3. Dig to the roots of the problem
Cheating is almost always a sign of a much larger problem. If you don’t figure out what it is and address it, you might get back together, but your relationship is bound to fail again.
Be brutally honest with yourself and each other, while maintaining your composure and being respectful to one another. Let your partner express themselves, and give them plenty of time to talk. Even if their reasons sound like lame excuses, keep an open mind and you might be able to get to the root of the problem and learn how to fix it.
4. Learn to Trust Once Again
This is without a doubt the toughest challenge that lies ahead. After breaking up the trust it is very hard to gain it back, but if it’s not rebuilt again the chances of your relationship fully recovering from cheating are going to be very slim. No relationship ever succeeds on suspicion and mistrusts.
There are resources available to help you make the transition into a healthy relationship after someone cheated. No matter what, fixing a relationship is a hard thing to do, so go get help when needed.