In nearly every good relationship there is a point where every couple argues and might be on the verge of breaking up. Usually when this occurs, both parties are struggling to find a way to resolve their differences since neither wants to face the idea of ever having to live without the other.
Some many seek professional couple’s therapy, trying to find a way to bring the magic back into their relationship. Yet, what many people do not realize is that the magic recipe to fixing their relationship is actually right underneath their noses. Contrary to what many popular therapists promote, communication (though certainly an important aspect) is not the key to a healthy relationship.
The secret to saving your relationship is not trying to communicate better per se, but finding out how to be your lover’s best friend. Couples who have learned this secret have found themselves having happy, healthy marriages that last for decades.
If you have ever watched a couple who has been married for twenty years or more, you notice that they do everything together and rarely fight. This is due to the fact that they know each other completely and typically enjoy many of the same things.
By understanding the other; they are able to enjoy a relationship like no other, one that is intimate and also emotionally stable. Saving your relationship revolves around finding a balance between being your significant other’s best friend and lover. If you are able to understand all of their wants and desires, you will find yourselves arguing less by better understanding how the other thinks.
Probably the hardest aspect of being able to view your lover as a best friend is acknowledging that they are your equal. In many relationships, couples create or accept a hierarchy among themselves usually based on the person who makes the most money running the house.
This can lead to conflict and confusion given that it takes two to have a relationship. No one wants to feel like they are not in control of their own lives, and some may harbor a feeling of resentment which can in many cases lead to a breakup or divorce.
If you are truly interested in saving your relationship, start first by letting your significant other know how you feel. When you do this, do not yell or scream, since no one should be angry – you are trying to save and strengthen bonds, not destroy them.
This is a step to let both of you know where you need to improve your relationship. Create a list of problems and possible solutions that both of you can do together to better fix your relationship working with one another, rather than against.
As easy as it may seem to blame the other, remember that it takes two to have a relationship, meaning that any issue could easily be both of your faults. Blaming is a useless and destructive activity. Learn to talk about problems and work through them together.
By better understanding each other’s wants and needs you can start to develop the friendship needed to create a happy, healthy relationship that could last for decades to come.